Believe it or not, this blog was already written in its entirety. It was eloquent, insightful, informative and funny - a true masterpiece. Then, I freakin' lost it... Myspace has too many users for it to function properly even 10 percent of the time. And now, ladies and gentleman, without further ado - the blog I've already written!
I would like to pose the following question: What do we do when being open and honest has the potential to change someone's perception of other people? I've been struggling with this all week. I wrote a shorty last night. The following material is the result of that tiny blog after it has grown in my mind for over 24 hours. All of the following events are true. Only the names, locations and events have been altered...
Fact: Perception may not be the truth about you, but perception is often what people use to make their decisions about you.
Life: People often ask me why my son's mother and I are not together anymore. I usually don't respond to this question - at least with any detail. It's an attempt to eliminate any bias and maintain dignity and integrity between us. My failure to answer said question gives the perception that I am being dishonest (that I have something to hide). The truth is that no one should have to endure the things that I had to go through. However, the truth would violently shift a person's perception of my ex. Remember - specific, behavioral-based FACTS!
Friendships: I recently had a friendship that fell-through. The truth is that our relationship was NOT a friendship. This person often brought me down, failed to keep promises, took advantage of my good-nature and never supported me. Unfortunately, we shared some mutual friends. Once again, the truth would greatly alter our friends' perception of said individual.
Work: I once managed a very polite, cheerful and friendly employee. However, this employee never produced any work. When I requested performance feedback from other people who had managed this employee before, they always said, "Oh, so-and-so is really nice." That was not the question that I had asked. When I was asked by my supervisor about so-and-so's performance, I was truthful in my response. My statement was based on specific, behavioral-based examples of so-and-so's failure to meet expectations. I was immediately scolded for providing such feedback. My honesty threatened to change the perception of said employee, not to mention my job.
Christianity: As if being a Christian isn't hard enough, we are continually required to redeem ourselves for foolish stunts like these. Christians quickly form perceptions of other people (non-believers) as well as other Christians. Many people have been put-off by Christianity, God, faith and religion. Can you blame them? I'm not saying that it's right to give up, but I can easily see why someone would react in this manner. We, as Christians have to concede to the truth that we are sinners. We cannot be hypocritical.
The answer: Are you ready for this? Honesty is the most important. Perceptions will always change - it's a flavor of the week. Truth is forever. So why is it so hard to be honest? Because it means that we will often stand alone - isolated by our peers. Why do we get so defensive and angry when we have to change our perceptions in light of what we know is true? Because it means we were wrong! It's okay - we're human!
The point: There will always be multiple sides to every story. Make sure to dismiss your perceptions. Seek the truth. It's not that hard to find - there's only one place you have to look...
God bless,
James
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