Randomness 101

I think Oprah has too much power in this world. Coupled with her vanity (she is on the cover of her OWN magazine every month), I’m waiting for the whole empire known as Oprah to take a chapter from the book of Martha Stewart. If a book hasn’t been plugged on her show (or at least a movie made from its contents) it really isn’t worth reading, is it? This happens at my store every week. Some poor sap will approach me and ask if I have a book. That is as specific as the question gets as they can’t even remember the title of it. They’re next remark – “Well, it was on Oprah last week.” I am a single, 27 year-old, heterosexual male who works 60 hours a week. Exactly what part of my persona would suggest that I am Oprah’s core audience? Maybe I should start my quest to be famous and powerful. Once I have everybody’s attention, I’ll direct them to the Bible…

I’ve recently realized that listening to Sparta on my iPod will decrease my 2-mile run time by about 20-30 seconds. I don’t know what it is about their music… It just pumps me up! If I loop “Death in the Family” on their “Porcelain” album, I could probably run a marathon in 20 minutes.

Why is it when your colleagues discover you are single, they want to set you up with everybody they know? Is it sympathy, or is it some sick, twisted attempt to live vicariously through you? Yesterday, a co-worker of mine asked me if I was single. After I reluctantly answered, “yes” he proceeded to tell me that I should ask his niece out because she was, get this – “hot.” I sometimes wonder about people in Texas… Although I am grateful (I guess) that people are “looking out for me,” none of my colleagues have a clue as to what I look for in a woman. I can take out 90% of the guess work for you right now. Answer this simple question: Is she a woman of God? If the answer is yes, I might actually stop what I’m doing, make eye-contact and engage myself in the conversation.

I want to briefly share with you what has become my Monday night. A lot of you will make fun of me, but I don’t mind. I know who I am in Christ and I’m having a pretty good time. After I came home from my run and took a shower, I made two eggs in a basket, had a cup of hot tea and read another chapter of Captivating. I did all of this while being serenaded by Andrea Bocelli’s, “Romanza.” Ladies – you have no idea what you’re missing!

In Christ and humor,

James