Serial Blogging...

At this point you might be asking yourself, "Why do I want to read a random passage about nothing that was written on Halloween night - possibly indicating and almost proving that the author of said passage is a complete loser with absolutely nothing better to do?" How's that for a run-on? The truth is that I had a revelation about 15 minutes ago. Well, not really a revelation, but something karate-kicked me in the brain. However, this entry will be a little random and scattered as I am getting up every 45 seconds to answer the door for trick-or-treaters. This is pretty characteristic of my personality anyways - for those of you who know me (and now, for those of you who don't). This brings us to my first thought:

Why do I live in the middle of suburbia? I am the most misplaced soul in my neighborhood. Every household on my block is the apparent, sterotypical American family. I live in Plum Creek. That being said, those of you who live in Kyle probably know exactly what I mean. In fact, you would think that my house would be the LAST house a person would pick to ask for candy - not because of the neighborhood, but because of me. I'm the lonesome soul with the shaved head and ear-rings that keeps to himself. Nobody knows anything about me. When I die, they'll probably expect to find a freezer full of human heads, skeletons, evidence that I had OCD and materials to make a bomb or something...

Tangent - Wow! I just answered the door for a trick-or-treater and met this kid's father. I used to work with him about 8 years ago. Go figure, work at a job you hardly remember, 40 miles from your house and the guy ends up living in your backyard.

Back on track - Being misplaced. What constitutes this? Is it by how I feel? I feel upside down, not like myself. Not depressed - but disappointed. Why? I'm getting old. I'm young, but I'm getting old. I want to settle down, marry, have a family and offer something stable for my son. I know it's not according to my plan, but God's plan. So is it wrong for me to be upset? Am I being selfish? I guess I feel upset and guilty - or am I upset because of guilt. Maybe it's karma. Everything I said I just wanted, I've only really wanted for about a year. Is it all the years of renouncing this that is punishing me? Just wondering...

Meeting people: How do you do this? Bar-scene? No. I think my neighborhood is out of the question... Church? Oh yeah, that's good. Go to church to get hooked-up. Any ideas?

The problem: I've done everything I've wanted to do. I've done all my partying, my drinking, etc. I am perfectly content staying in, cooking dinner and watching movies these days. I still like to go out occasionally, but tell me where I can find a female my age that would be able to handle that... Maybe I need to marry a 60 yr-old women that has the same interests as me. Granted, the marriage would only last about a decade due to life expectancy...
So what now? How do I alleviate this existential funk? I read the good-book. I try my best to apply it to my life. I pray. I keep up on my hobbies. Yet, nothing has helped me. Not that I'm looking to the point that I'm blind, but I hope the solution presents itself before I marry my job.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - Someone prove me right!

A song for my funk...

I've always liked this song, but today it seems to mean a little more... If someone has been recording my life on video, you have my permission to edit and cut it into a music video for this song.

Snow Patrol : Hands Open

It's hard to argue when
you won't stop making sense
But my tongue still misbehaves
and it keeps digging my own grave with my

Hands open, and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

Why would I sabotage
the best thing that I have
Well, it makes it easier to know
exactly what I want with my...

Hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
that your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

Put Sufjan Stevens on
and we'll play your favorite song
"Chicago" bursts to life
and your sweet smile remembers you, my

Hands open, and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy