Picture, if you will...
DeLorean DMC-12
Manufactured 1979
Assembled 1981
Odd-looking
Stainless steel body parts
Not immediately accepted by the public
Way ahead of its time
Very rare
Featured in "Back to the Future"
Previous owners regret parting with them
2007 MSRP would be $62,300
Takes a special person to appreciate them
Me
Manufactured 1979
Assembled 1980
Odd-looking
Stainless steel body piercings
Not immediately accepted by the public
Too mature for my age
Very rare
Loves "Back to the Future"
Previous girlfriends regret parting with him
2007 MSRP is priceless
Takes a special person to appreciate him
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Traveling alone, single-serving friends and being a minister of God...
After plans of going to Vegas kept falling through, I whimsically chose to do the trip on my own. I've traveled alone many times, but I've always had friends or family at my destination. This is the first time that I took a vacation by myself.
With plenty of things to do in Vegas, I started to concern myself with the actual travel. The hours preceding my flight were filled with nerves and anticipation. I started to wonder if my social isolation would drive me to the brink of insanity or cause me to learn more about myself than I cared to know. I then asked God to use me as a minister for his will. It's fun to initiate conversation with a total stranger - knowing you'll probably never see them again. However, I wanted to see if I could have a quality conversation about my favorite topic - God. What if I was the closest thing to God that anyone I met would ever know? Scary, I know... :) Wouldn't it be nice to share some of my experiences in hopes that it would inspire someone to long for a closer relationship with Him?!
My first flight from Austin to Denver was rather uneventful. I sat next to an elderly couple that seemed not only uninterested in talking to me, but a little uneasy by my presence. A message to said generation: Not all young people are drugged-up, sex-crazed, disrespectful hooligans.
My connecting flight that day was a different experience. I was seated, awaiting take-off. A young woman sat next to me and asked me how long the flight was. I answered and then asked a series of generic questions - just to feel her out. I noticed that she had a ring on her finger and asked how long she had been engaged/married. This is when the conversation took-off. She met her husband on the praise and worship team of her church. We shared our experiences with our faith and talked about our churches. It was a wonderful conversation. She then asked why I was going to Vegas. I told her my situation, my previous concerns and the belief that God wanted me to go for a reason. She then told me, "You're doing the right thing. Good for you." Our plane landed and we walked to claim our bags. After we said our good-byes, I realized that she was a minister to me on that flight. She reassured me, gave me hope (the story of her marriage was awesome), lifted me up and helped me understand that God was talking to me. What a great single-serving friend!
My time in Vegas was wonderful (as always). I got to see and do things that I haven't had a chance to do before. My return flight was fast-approaching and I started for the airport.
Check-in was a disaster. I found myself asking, once again, why I agreed to fly Continental. My tickets somehow "dropped out" of the system. I can't win the lottery, but I can sure be "randomly" selected for Security Screening at any airport. The only thing lacking was a body-cavity search...
Once again, my first flight was rather uneventful. I sat next to an elderly couple with some apparent health issues. They didn't really seem to be in the mood for conversation - just sleep. I arrived in Houston for my connecting flight.
My flight was delayed. Why did I fly Continental again? However, I tried to approach the question with more maturity. Why was my flight delayed? It was not an inconvenience, it was for a reason. I just had this feeling. God was setting this whole thing up so that I would encounter something or someone at just the right time. I even told this to a friend over the phone as I waited. We made a joke that I would meet someone interesting and it would only be for the 30 minutes it would take to fly home.
I finally boarded and I took my seat. The seat next to me remained empty. Boarding was complete, but the cabin doors were still open. God then told me that the seat next to me would be filled and to do his will. Seconds later, a young woman in a flight-attendant's uniform took the seat next to me. She looked exhausted. She let out a sigh and rested her eyes. I turned my reading light off in hopes that it would make her more comfortable. A few seconds later, she stirred and I asked if she was headed home. She stated that she was and that due to my delayed flight, she was able to go home earlier than she anticipated. Bingo! - the reason. She immediately sprang up in her seat and started talking to me. She was suddenly all-smiles. She asked me advice on what to buy her brother for his birthday and asked about my trip. I told her that God told me to take this trip and mentioned my desire to do his will. She then told me about her experience with God (raised Presbyterian, like myself) and how she was striving and praying for a closer relationship with him. She also mentioned the last message she heard about church and its ministers. She then made the allusion that I was being a minister to her! Wow! Did I succeed? Someone who gets it! I asked her name and introduced myself (after talking for about 30 minutes). I took out my prayer list and added her name to it. She asked what I was doing. I told her that I would help her pray for her relationship with Christ. As we landed and got off the plane, we walked towards the baggage claim. She was on her way home and I needed to get my bag. I extended my hand to say my good-bye and that it was a pleasure to meet her. She dropped everything and wrapped her arms around me. I hadn't had a hug in a while. I noticed at that point that being a minister of God allows you to make ministers of other people. I'll always remember my single-serving friends...
With plenty of things to do in Vegas, I started to concern myself with the actual travel. The hours preceding my flight were filled with nerves and anticipation. I started to wonder if my social isolation would drive me to the brink of insanity or cause me to learn more about myself than I cared to know. I then asked God to use me as a minister for his will. It's fun to initiate conversation with a total stranger - knowing you'll probably never see them again. However, I wanted to see if I could have a quality conversation about my favorite topic - God. What if I was the closest thing to God that anyone I met would ever know? Scary, I know... :) Wouldn't it be nice to share some of my experiences in hopes that it would inspire someone to long for a closer relationship with Him?!
My first flight from Austin to Denver was rather uneventful. I sat next to an elderly couple that seemed not only uninterested in talking to me, but a little uneasy by my presence. A message to said generation: Not all young people are drugged-up, sex-crazed, disrespectful hooligans.
My connecting flight that day was a different experience. I was seated, awaiting take-off. A young woman sat next to me and asked me how long the flight was. I answered and then asked a series of generic questions - just to feel her out. I noticed that she had a ring on her finger and asked how long she had been engaged/married. This is when the conversation took-off. She met her husband on the praise and worship team of her church. We shared our experiences with our faith and talked about our churches. It was a wonderful conversation. She then asked why I was going to Vegas. I told her my situation, my previous concerns and the belief that God wanted me to go for a reason. She then told me, "You're doing the right thing. Good for you." Our plane landed and we walked to claim our bags. After we said our good-byes, I realized that she was a minister to me on that flight. She reassured me, gave me hope (the story of her marriage was awesome), lifted me up and helped me understand that God was talking to me. What a great single-serving friend!
My time in Vegas was wonderful (as always). I got to see and do things that I haven't had a chance to do before. My return flight was fast-approaching and I started for the airport.
Check-in was a disaster. I found myself asking, once again, why I agreed to fly Continental. My tickets somehow "dropped out" of the system. I can't win the lottery, but I can sure be "randomly" selected for Security Screening at any airport. The only thing lacking was a body-cavity search...
Once again, my first flight was rather uneventful. I sat next to an elderly couple with some apparent health issues. They didn't really seem to be in the mood for conversation - just sleep. I arrived in Houston for my connecting flight.
My flight was delayed. Why did I fly Continental again? However, I tried to approach the question with more maturity. Why was my flight delayed? It was not an inconvenience, it was for a reason. I just had this feeling. God was setting this whole thing up so that I would encounter something or someone at just the right time. I even told this to a friend over the phone as I waited. We made a joke that I would meet someone interesting and it would only be for the 30 minutes it would take to fly home.
I finally boarded and I took my seat. The seat next to me remained empty. Boarding was complete, but the cabin doors were still open. God then told me that the seat next to me would be filled and to do his will. Seconds later, a young woman in a flight-attendant's uniform took the seat next to me. She looked exhausted. She let out a sigh and rested her eyes. I turned my reading light off in hopes that it would make her more comfortable. A few seconds later, she stirred and I asked if she was headed home. She stated that she was and that due to my delayed flight, she was able to go home earlier than she anticipated. Bingo! - the reason. She immediately sprang up in her seat and started talking to me. She was suddenly all-smiles. She asked me advice on what to buy her brother for his birthday and asked about my trip. I told her that God told me to take this trip and mentioned my desire to do his will. She then told me about her experience with God (raised Presbyterian, like myself) and how she was striving and praying for a closer relationship with him. She also mentioned the last message she heard about church and its ministers. She then made the allusion that I was being a minister to her! Wow! Did I succeed? Someone who gets it! I asked her name and introduced myself (after talking for about 30 minutes). I took out my prayer list and added her name to it. She asked what I was doing. I told her that I would help her pray for her relationship with Christ. As we landed and got off the plane, we walked towards the baggage claim. She was on her way home and I needed to get my bag. I extended my hand to say my good-bye and that it was a pleasure to meet her. She dropped everything and wrapped her arms around me. I hadn't had a hug in a while. I noticed at that point that being a minister of God allows you to make ministers of other people. I'll always remember my single-serving friends...
Sunday, August 26, 2007
My trip to AutoZone.
Today, our church celebrated its 3rd birthday. I realize that doesn't sound like a big deal, but it was an awesome day.
I woke up this morning with plenty of time to get ready, go to the store (so I had something for the picnic) and get to church ON TIME (which is very important to me). I woke up, read the Word, got ready, jumped in my truck and turned the key. Nothing. Great. Now, "old James" would have put his fist right through the windshield (okay maybe not that, but some choice words would have been used at length and with total conviciton). Something would have definitely been thrown, too. Ever see the movies where birds scatter at the echo of a well-yelled curse word? Yeah - that used to be me. Instead, I calmly called a friend and she picked me up, drove me to the store (she needed something, too) and took me to church. See? Not so bad. I can get over this.
Church was awesome and I enjoyed some GREAT fellowship. Pics can be found under "The Connection Church" album. My friend dropped me off and even jumped my truck so I could take it to AutoZone.
Today has been one of the hottest days in a while. Our service and activities were outside and it was SWELTERING! I was tired, exhausted and sweaty. I know - gross, right? I finally make it to AutoZone w/ no A/C. I wait in line for what seems to be somewhere between 5 and 6 hours. I finally get my vehicle tested. The battery. Yeah, I pretty much knew. Of course, I had to turn the vehicle off to test the battery. I walk inside and make an extremely UNPLANNED purchase for the week. I walk outside, get in the truck and turn the key. Nothing. I was pretty much counting on this. No big deal - I grab my tools and get to work. Besides, I won't have to make 2 trips to dispose of my old battery and get my $12 core-charge. I get to it.
Did I mention that it was hot today? My tools started to burn me. The concrete baked my feet from underneath me. The store was busy. Cars and exhaust made the parking lot pretty toasty. Sweat poured from me like a faucet. My t-shirt was soaked. Why was it so hot? More importantly, why was I so WET?
Oh, could it be the freakin' thunderstorm I was in? Yeah. It was sunny as it could be, too! What is that about? Why couldn't I have 5 minutes? There wasn't a cloud in the sky all day - not even now! I continued with my work. Yeah, you know in the rain... with wet hands... metal tools and a battery... standing in a puddle, no less. Smart... I've already told you my short-comings with electricity this year.
Yes. Needless to say, I was quite uncomfortable - trying my best not to touch certain metal parts of said project. I ran inside, deposited my old battery and headed home. As I left the parking lot, I commended God on his sense of humor. Then I asked myself what I was supposed to take away from this experience. Maybe it was just a test of patience. Maybe God just wanted to see if I'm willing to walk in faith like I say I am. Or... Maybe I just needed another stupid story to tell.
God bless,
James
I woke up this morning with plenty of time to get ready, go to the store (so I had something for the picnic) and get to church ON TIME (which is very important to me). I woke up, read the Word, got ready, jumped in my truck and turned the key. Nothing. Great. Now, "old James" would have put his fist right through the windshield (okay maybe not that, but some choice words would have been used at length and with total conviciton). Something would have definitely been thrown, too. Ever see the movies where birds scatter at the echo of a well-yelled curse word? Yeah - that used to be me. Instead, I calmly called a friend and she picked me up, drove me to the store (she needed something, too) and took me to church. See? Not so bad. I can get over this.
Church was awesome and I enjoyed some GREAT fellowship. Pics can be found under "The Connection Church" album. My friend dropped me off and even jumped my truck so I could take it to AutoZone.
Today has been one of the hottest days in a while. Our service and activities were outside and it was SWELTERING! I was tired, exhausted and sweaty. I know - gross, right? I finally make it to AutoZone w/ no A/C. I wait in line for what seems to be somewhere between 5 and 6 hours. I finally get my vehicle tested. The battery. Yeah, I pretty much knew. Of course, I had to turn the vehicle off to test the battery. I walk inside and make an extremely UNPLANNED purchase for the week. I walk outside, get in the truck and turn the key. Nothing. I was pretty much counting on this. No big deal - I grab my tools and get to work. Besides, I won't have to make 2 trips to dispose of my old battery and get my $12 core-charge. I get to it.
Did I mention that it was hot today? My tools started to burn me. The concrete baked my feet from underneath me. The store was busy. Cars and exhaust made the parking lot pretty toasty. Sweat poured from me like a faucet. My t-shirt was soaked. Why was it so hot? More importantly, why was I so WET?
Oh, could it be the freakin' thunderstorm I was in? Yeah. It was sunny as it could be, too! What is that about? Why couldn't I have 5 minutes? There wasn't a cloud in the sky all day - not even now! I continued with my work. Yeah, you know in the rain... with wet hands... metal tools and a battery... standing in a puddle, no less. Smart... I've already told you my short-comings with electricity this year.
Yes. Needless to say, I was quite uncomfortable - trying my best not to touch certain metal parts of said project. I ran inside, deposited my old battery and headed home. As I left the parking lot, I commended God on his sense of humor. Then I asked myself what I was supposed to take away from this experience. Maybe it was just a test of patience. Maybe God just wanted to see if I'm willing to walk in faith like I say I am. Or... Maybe I just needed another stupid story to tell.
God bless,
James
Thursday, August 23, 2007
What I've learned in the last 365 days.
As I complete another revolution around the sun, I would like to share what I've learned in the last 365 days.
God.
Being a Christian is hard.
Sin takes you farther than you want to go, keeps you longer than you want to stay and costs you more than you want to pay.
God has a purpose for ALL of us.
Being blessed by God and being used by God are two, completely different things.
Believe to receive.
Bless to be blessed.
Put your feet to your faith.
Personal Growth:
I don't need someone to be with me to enjoy certain activities. Drinking coffee, taking a trip and going to concerts are all things that I can do alone. Having someone there doesn't necessarily mean that they will enhance the experience in any way. In fact, some will bring you down.
Friendships and Relationships:
Lonliness leads to settling.
Most of the time, I can only relate to people 30 years of age and older.
There is no such thing as a "bad friend." These people aren't your friends.
Sometimes you have to cut-out people who bring you down or drain you emotionally and spiritually.
God puts people in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
MOST people don't know what they want.
Birthdays:
I will probably never have a good birthday.
Your birthday is more for your family and friends than it is for you. Let them celebrate it!
Electricity:
Capacitors hurt.
God.
Being a Christian is hard.
Sin takes you farther than you want to go, keeps you longer than you want to stay and costs you more than you want to pay.
God has a purpose for ALL of us.
Being blessed by God and being used by God are two, completely different things.
Believe to receive.
Bless to be blessed.
Put your feet to your faith.
Personal Growth:
I don't need someone to be with me to enjoy certain activities. Drinking coffee, taking a trip and going to concerts are all things that I can do alone. Having someone there doesn't necessarily mean that they will enhance the experience in any way. In fact, some will bring you down.
Friendships and Relationships:
Lonliness leads to settling.
Most of the time, I can only relate to people 30 years of age and older.
There is no such thing as a "bad friend." These people aren't your friends.
Sometimes you have to cut-out people who bring you down or drain you emotionally and spiritually.
God puts people in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
MOST people don't know what they want.
Birthdays:
I will probably never have a good birthday.
Your birthday is more for your family and friends than it is for you. Let them celebrate it!
Electricity:
Capacitors hurt.
Believe and Receive!
I receive these every morning via phone / email. It is the first thing I read every morning - sometimes before I even get out of bed. I used to have my quiet-time with God before I went to bed. Then I realized that I was putting on my spiritual armor only to go to sleep. This one was sent to me by a friend before I subscribed. At the time, I was beginning to lose hope with a couple of situations. This message helped me realize that even when you're all alone, even when you begin to lose hope, pray to God and thank Him for the answer to your prayers. I meant to post this a while back, but never did. Blessed are vacations that allow us to catch up on some of these things.
In Christ,
James
Believe and Receive
Today's Scripture
“Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mark 11:24, NIV).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Has God spoken things to your heart that haven’t come to pass yet? Sometimes when we are believing for things, it’s easy to let circumstances and the pressures of life drag us down. But when you make the choice to receive your promise by picturing it in your mind’s eye, and declaring it with the words of your mouth, your faith becomes stronger. You begin to feel more confident. You begin to feel more settled. You begin to have joy and peace because you know God is working behind the scenes on your behalf. What are you believing for God to do in your life today? Can you see it in your mind’s eye? Can you see yourself healed? Can you see yourself paying off that last debt? Can you see yourself at your ideal weight? Can you see yourself sharing the gospel with a family member or coworker? Ask the Lord to give you the picture of what He sees when He looks at you. As you open your heart and allow God’s thoughts to become your thoughts, and your receive His promises by faith, just like it says in the above verse—whatever you ask for in prayer will be yours!
A Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father, thank You for another day to serve You. Thank You for the gift of faith. I ask that you search my heart and mind and remove anything that does not please you. Give me your thoughts of peace and joy today so that I can learn to receive all you have for me today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Joel Osteen Ministries, 3700 Southwest Freeway, Houston TX 77027
Copyright © 2007 by Joel Osteen Ministries
http://joelosteen.lakewood.cc/site/MessageViewer?em_id=11881.0&printer_friendly=1&s_displayDate=8/3/07
In Christ,
James
Believe and Receive
Today's Scripture
“Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mark 11:24, NIV).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Has God spoken things to your heart that haven’t come to pass yet? Sometimes when we are believing for things, it’s easy to let circumstances and the pressures of life drag us down. But when you make the choice to receive your promise by picturing it in your mind’s eye, and declaring it with the words of your mouth, your faith becomes stronger. You begin to feel more confident. You begin to feel more settled. You begin to have joy and peace because you know God is working behind the scenes on your behalf. What are you believing for God to do in your life today? Can you see it in your mind’s eye? Can you see yourself healed? Can you see yourself paying off that last debt? Can you see yourself at your ideal weight? Can you see yourself sharing the gospel with a family member or coworker? Ask the Lord to give you the picture of what He sees when He looks at you. As you open your heart and allow God’s thoughts to become your thoughts, and your receive His promises by faith, just like it says in the above verse—whatever you ask for in prayer will be yours!
A Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father, thank You for another day to serve You. Thank You for the gift of faith. I ask that you search my heart and mind and remove anything that does not please you. Give me your thoughts of peace and joy today so that I can learn to receive all you have for me today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Joel Osteen Ministries, 3700 Southwest Freeway, Houston TX 77027
Copyright © 2007 by Joel Osteen Ministries
http://joelosteen.lakewood.cc/site/MessageViewer?em_id=11881.0&printer_friendly=1&s_displayDate=8/3/07
Sunday, July 1, 2007
UPDATE: Thinking out loud - so to speak.
Yesterday, I was in the middle of smoking some food when I completed Tuesdays with Morrie. My parents were coming to town to eat, watch the fireworks and share some of the weekend with me. Though proud of my accomplishment, I was a little upset that I had so quickly completed the novel. Reading the work of Mitch Albom has really become a serene activity of late.
Upon entering the door, my mother handed me a book and said "You might enjoy this one." Having never told her about the books I read, I received a novel entitled For One More Day, by Mitch Albom. If you've read my previous blog, I mentioned how my introduction to his work has been somewhat serendipitous. It just goes to show how "meant-to-be" some things are. I'm excited to start this one in the hopes that I can further explore myself and this life through a different perspective. Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to share my experience along the way...
There is one chapter in Tuesdays with Morrie entitled, The Thirteenth Tuesday We Talk About the Perfect Day. With his death quickly approaching, Morrie talks about his perfect day. It would include waking up, eating breakfast, sharing the rest of his day with family and friends and having a deep, wonderful sleep.
Such perfection can be found in such an "average" day. Today I woke up, ate breakfast, went to church, spent the afteroon learning even more about Christ with my pastor and went to the movies with some friends from church- new and old. After the movie, Evan Almighty (I highly recommend it), we sat at Chili's and had a GREAT conversation. Sure, having Luke would have made it even better... But here I sit, ready for my peaceful slumber - thinking: WOW, that was the perfect day.
Upon entering the door, my mother handed me a book and said "You might enjoy this one." Having never told her about the books I read, I received a novel entitled For One More Day, by Mitch Albom. If you've read my previous blog, I mentioned how my introduction to his work has been somewhat serendipitous. It just goes to show how "meant-to-be" some things are. I'm excited to start this one in the hopes that I can further explore myself and this life through a different perspective. Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to share my experience along the way...
There is one chapter in Tuesdays with Morrie entitled, The Thirteenth Tuesday We Talk About the Perfect Day. With his death quickly approaching, Morrie talks about his perfect day. It would include waking up, eating breakfast, sharing the rest of his day with family and friends and having a deep, wonderful sleep.
Such perfection can be found in such an "average" day. Today I woke up, ate breakfast, went to church, spent the afteroon learning even more about Christ with my pastor and went to the movies with some friends from church- new and old. After the movie, Evan Almighty (I highly recommend it), we sat at Chili's and had a GREAT conversation. Sure, having Luke would have made it even better... But here I sit, ready for my peaceful slumber - thinking: WOW, that was the perfect day.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thinking out loud - so to speak.
Friends,
Here we are again. Me: sitting at my computer. The soft-pitched whine of the spinning fans keeping me company in the dark. The soft glow of the monitor provides just enough light to illuminate the room so I can find my cup of coffee. The craving to share my thoughts have swept over me, forcing me to appease my blogging addiction.
I want to share my introduction to Mitch Albom. Though, I've never met him, a higher power has made it a point to make sure that his work was introduced to me.
October 25th, 2006 - As I'm looking for a new-to-me book to read at Half Priced Books, I literally almost trip over a novel lying on the floor. The Five People You Meet in Heaven is actually "glowing" up at me. I pick it up and begin to read. A purchase is made and I head to Mozart's to feed my mind. Who knew that my soul would enjoy a good meal, too?
June 26th, 2007 - I am once again at Half Priced Books, looking for a book of poems by Robert Browning. A book is mis-slotted right next to the one I want. It looks familiar. A hard-bound book is etched with a font that I have seen before. Another novel by Mitch Albom - Tuesdays with Morrie. I am probably the only living soul that has yet to read it. A purchase is made and I head to Mozart's. I easily tear through 100 pages - more than half the book in less than two hours.
Each time I read these books, my mind and emotions are exercised to the point of physical exhaustion. It's proof that mind, body and soul are connected. Whether I'm at home or a local coffee shop, I spend the drive home and/or that night in bed unable to sleep because of the passages I have read. This might also explain the late-night writing...
These two books have focused intently on death. They are portrayed in a beautiful manner, not in a morbid sense. Both are easy reads. His work does not have to be disected at the literary level, but it makes you think in your own, unique way. These books have made me ask myself a lot of questions. The following is a few of the answers that I have found.
My time here has already been determined. What I do with it is solely up to me. Though God already knows how every play of my life will occur, I have been given the free will to make my own choices and decisions. I grasped this concept even as a child in elementary school. I proudly sported a t-shirt once a week (usually Fridays) that stated: "You're born. You die. What happens in between is up to you." Death has a way of making you live. I am chronically ill. Although it will probably not claim my life, it will make it extremely uncomfortable at times. Since I was told about my disease, I spent only a few days on self-pity and fear. That was enough. I'm reminded enough about it through how I physically feel to recognize that it's there. This recognition is only necessary so that I can combat it the best I can with my medication and diet. There is nothing I could have done to prevent it. I'm genetically predisposed, so there is no reason for regret. However, it has made me appreciate "the little things" even more. Even the simple act of wiping my own ass is a blessing. One day, I might not have an ass to wipe. A colostomy is the only cure for my disesase...
Lately, I have intimately contemplated what I have done with my life and whether or not I am proud of what I have accomplished. I guess I'm trying to discover the meaning of life while I'm still alive. My brain won't be able to figure it out when I die. Here are two definitions that I have come across during my life. I agree with both of them.
The meaning of life is to live it. I live life in a unique way - as does everyone else. However, I've recently discovered that I am different than most people. I get more out of this life because I am emotionally advanced. A hightened emotional life is both the cause and effect of my lagging mental capacity and physical qualities. My social skills are also a disaster. Everything that happens to me is experienced on an extreme emotional level. A sunset can bring tears to my eyes. A kind word can put me on a high for days, if not more. I'm not moody or manic-depressive. I just ride this rollercoaster with a certain, white-knuckled intensity. This usually opens myself up to the accusation of being too sensitive, etc. In this society, we're so quick to treat people who exhibit this behavior with insults and medicine. These people have a gift. Don't get me wrong - if your emotions cause you to be a threat to yourself or others, you probably need some help. My emotions don't run me. I don't embrace them. I own them.
The meaning of life is to love and worship God. It is important to be part of something bigger than yourself. It's also the tell-tale sign of a true romantic. Too many things have happened in my life for it all to be a coincidence. However, I can't use those events to explain my relationship with God. Faith is what separates those who love God and those who believe he exists - just in case.
So, am I happy? If I pass in my sleep tonight, can I let it all go? Absolutely. Sure, there are a lot of things that I still want to do. I want to be a great father to my son. I want to make new memories in old places. There are some things that I enjoy that I shared with the wrong person. I also have the desire to leave a mark in this world, but with one, simple twist.
There is probably only one way to enrich my life. It's something I have no control over, though. But sometimes I think: "Wouldn't it be grand to meet someone on my path?" As I mentioned before, I am somewhat of a romantic. I feel as though I live with only half of a heart. The other half is with someone else. The only thing I really "want" is to find it. How blissful it would be to spend my life with someone that could teach me and learn from me. So often I've thought about how to leave my mark in this world. What I really want is to co-create a relationship that would let us leave our's. Although I'm only at the tender age of 26, I sometimes feel that any time without this person is time wasted - especially if I die sooner than later. I'm hoping God will send that person to me sooner than later, too. Times like these remind me of two things my father once told me:
Don't waste good time. There was a time in my life where I harbored a lot of anger at people who hurt and/or betrayed me. People still hurt and betray me, but I forgive a lot quicker. You have to let go. Don't let other people ruin your time on this earth.
The hardest time in a young man's life is between the ages of 20 and 30. God, this is so true! My life has been a rocky road for the last several years. I know people frown at the notion of getting older, but he's probably right. Maybe God's waiting until I get there before I sabatoge both our lives - unintentional as it may be.
I can be a patient person and servant of God. Quite frankly, I only want one more relationship - my last one. If I have to spend the next few (several, whatever) years alone to get there - so be it. Why do all of my blogs get steered in this direction?
People often have a hard time taking me seriously. Either because I'm joking all the time or because I write things that seem too personal and intimate to share. When times get tough, I often find myself laughing and joking through them. It isn't a device to mask my hurt - but sometimes things get so out of control, the only thing left to do is laugh about them. The truth is, I want everyone who cares to know about me to know the true me. Besides, if you read this and feel inspired, changed or better in any way, then I have been able to give you a small gift. I live for moments like that.
God bless,
-J
Here we are again. Me: sitting at my computer. The soft-pitched whine of the spinning fans keeping me company in the dark. The soft glow of the monitor provides just enough light to illuminate the room so I can find my cup of coffee. The craving to share my thoughts have swept over me, forcing me to appease my blogging addiction.
I want to share my introduction to Mitch Albom. Though, I've never met him, a higher power has made it a point to make sure that his work was introduced to me.
October 25th, 2006 - As I'm looking for a new-to-me book to read at Half Priced Books, I literally almost trip over a novel lying on the floor. The Five People You Meet in Heaven is actually "glowing" up at me. I pick it up and begin to read. A purchase is made and I head to Mozart's to feed my mind. Who knew that my soul would enjoy a good meal, too?
June 26th, 2007 - I am once again at Half Priced Books, looking for a book of poems by Robert Browning. A book is mis-slotted right next to the one I want. It looks familiar. A hard-bound book is etched with a font that I have seen before. Another novel by Mitch Albom - Tuesdays with Morrie. I am probably the only living soul that has yet to read it. A purchase is made and I head to Mozart's. I easily tear through 100 pages - more than half the book in less than two hours.
Each time I read these books, my mind and emotions are exercised to the point of physical exhaustion. It's proof that mind, body and soul are connected. Whether I'm at home or a local coffee shop, I spend the drive home and/or that night in bed unable to sleep because of the passages I have read. This might also explain the late-night writing...
These two books have focused intently on death. They are portrayed in a beautiful manner, not in a morbid sense. Both are easy reads. His work does not have to be disected at the literary level, but it makes you think in your own, unique way. These books have made me ask myself a lot of questions. The following is a few of the answers that I have found.
My time here has already been determined. What I do with it is solely up to me. Though God already knows how every play of my life will occur, I have been given the free will to make my own choices and decisions. I grasped this concept even as a child in elementary school. I proudly sported a t-shirt once a week (usually Fridays) that stated: "You're born. You die. What happens in between is up to you." Death has a way of making you live. I am chronically ill. Although it will probably not claim my life, it will make it extremely uncomfortable at times. Since I was told about my disease, I spent only a few days on self-pity and fear. That was enough. I'm reminded enough about it through how I physically feel to recognize that it's there. This recognition is only necessary so that I can combat it the best I can with my medication and diet. There is nothing I could have done to prevent it. I'm genetically predisposed, so there is no reason for regret. However, it has made me appreciate "the little things" even more. Even the simple act of wiping my own ass is a blessing. One day, I might not have an ass to wipe. A colostomy is the only cure for my disesase...
Lately, I have intimately contemplated what I have done with my life and whether or not I am proud of what I have accomplished. I guess I'm trying to discover the meaning of life while I'm still alive. My brain won't be able to figure it out when I die. Here are two definitions that I have come across during my life. I agree with both of them.
The meaning of life is to live it. I live life in a unique way - as does everyone else. However, I've recently discovered that I am different than most people. I get more out of this life because I am emotionally advanced. A hightened emotional life is both the cause and effect of my lagging mental capacity and physical qualities. My social skills are also a disaster. Everything that happens to me is experienced on an extreme emotional level. A sunset can bring tears to my eyes. A kind word can put me on a high for days, if not more. I'm not moody or manic-depressive. I just ride this rollercoaster with a certain, white-knuckled intensity. This usually opens myself up to the accusation of being too sensitive, etc. In this society, we're so quick to treat people who exhibit this behavior with insults and medicine. These people have a gift. Don't get me wrong - if your emotions cause you to be a threat to yourself or others, you probably need some help. My emotions don't run me. I don't embrace them. I own them.
The meaning of life is to love and worship God. It is important to be part of something bigger than yourself. It's also the tell-tale sign of a true romantic. Too many things have happened in my life for it all to be a coincidence. However, I can't use those events to explain my relationship with God. Faith is what separates those who love God and those who believe he exists - just in case.
So, am I happy? If I pass in my sleep tonight, can I let it all go? Absolutely. Sure, there are a lot of things that I still want to do. I want to be a great father to my son. I want to make new memories in old places. There are some things that I enjoy that I shared with the wrong person. I also have the desire to leave a mark in this world, but with one, simple twist.
There is probably only one way to enrich my life. It's something I have no control over, though. But sometimes I think: "Wouldn't it be grand to meet someone on my path?" As I mentioned before, I am somewhat of a romantic. I feel as though I live with only half of a heart. The other half is with someone else. The only thing I really "want" is to find it. How blissful it would be to spend my life with someone that could teach me and learn from me. So often I've thought about how to leave my mark in this world. What I really want is to co-create a relationship that would let us leave our's. Although I'm only at the tender age of 26, I sometimes feel that any time without this person is time wasted - especially if I die sooner than later. I'm hoping God will send that person to me sooner than later, too. Times like these remind me of two things my father once told me:
Don't waste good time. There was a time in my life where I harbored a lot of anger at people who hurt and/or betrayed me. People still hurt and betray me, but I forgive a lot quicker. You have to let go. Don't let other people ruin your time on this earth.
The hardest time in a young man's life is between the ages of 20 and 30. God, this is so true! My life has been a rocky road for the last several years. I know people frown at the notion of getting older, but he's probably right. Maybe God's waiting until I get there before I sabatoge both our lives - unintentional as it may be.
I can be a patient person and servant of God. Quite frankly, I only want one more relationship - my last one. If I have to spend the next few (several, whatever) years alone to get there - so be it. Why do all of my blogs get steered in this direction?
People often have a hard time taking me seriously. Either because I'm joking all the time or because I write things that seem too personal and intimate to share. When times get tough, I often find myself laughing and joking through them. It isn't a device to mask my hurt - but sometimes things get so out of control, the only thing left to do is laugh about them. The truth is, I want everyone who cares to know about me to know the true me. Besides, if you read this and feel inspired, changed or better in any way, then I have been able to give you a small gift. I live for moments like that.
God bless,
-J
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